Pupcakes

I’m starting a category called “Not Vegan and Not Very Healthy” because the bulk of things I’ve been posting here lately are vegan, but Laura’s baking isn’t and sometimes I eat non-vegan breakfast and the like. This is why I say, “I eat mostly vegan.” Simple as that. I win. Besides, these could be easily veganized.

Anyway, I think Laura should start her own cupcake business? Why? Because of this:

If you didn’t look at those and smile, then you are a cold-blooded, heartless monster. Especially the black one at the top with the white eye. Awwww!

They were:
3/4 c flour
3/4 t baking powder
pinch of salt
1/3 c white sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened at room temp
1 t vanilla
1/4 c milk
Bake in an oversize cupcake pan (6 cups on a pan instead of 12) at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. But when using the enormous cupcake pans, you have to watch them closely.

Frosting:
1 stick of butter, softened,
3 cups powdered sugar,
2 T milk
2 t vanilla.
Mix the frosting together and separate them into bowls to do different colors. Put them in frosting bags with different tips to make different fur textures. The eye balls are blobs of white frosting and black gel. The ears are graham crackers cut into triangles, and she put frosting on some of them. The tongues are Bubble Tape bubble gum that she used kitchen shears to shape.

It’s important to note that these cupcakes were inspired by Murphy.

He looks thrilled to have a cupcake made in his image, doesn’t he?

Yeah.

So as I mentioned yesterday, my friend Laura will be taking over most of the baking duties on this site. Last night, she made a batch of banana cookies. Unfortunately for me (for many reasons) Laura lives in Columbus, so I didn’t even get to try a cookie. But they look damn good!

She wanted to call these “Chunky Monkey Banana Cookies” but as I am worried about trademark lawsuits, we’ll call them….

Crunky Monkey Banana Cookies

Note from Laura, who had a really mean roommate in college: I recommend people don’t make these if they have a neurotic roommate who will put overripe bananas on their pillow (Bitch, I’m still not over it, can you tell?)

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon salt (I recommend NOT pouring it into a teaspoon over the batter)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1 1/4 stick of butter flavored Crisco (don’t tell my mom, she’d flip out.  But, the shortening makes a moister cookie)
1 egg
3 ripe bananas, mashed
1 3/4 cups uncooked oatmeal 

In a bowl, combine the Crisco, egg and bananas.  Hand mix it, it will be chunky. Don’t use an electric mixer. 
Then combine all the dry ingredients, except the oatmeal.  It’s really important to do the wet ingredients first, then the dry. Once incorporated, add the oatmeal and mix gently. 
Use a scoop to portion out 12 cookies per tray.  They don’t need to be spaced out too far apart, as they don’t spread much when they bake. 

Bake at 350 degrees, It really depends on your oven, so I would recommend starting to bake them at 12 minutes, and see if they are golden brown.  Then check on them every three minutes, they probably wouldn’t bake for more than 20 minutes.  Cool on a rack.  And since they are made with bananas, that means they’re healthy.  So you can eat a bunch.  Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

See? I couldn’t have done that. Plus, Laura looks a lot better with an apron and mixing bowl than I do.

My evil twin is one hell of a baker. Laura once made this biscotti that she brought to my house, and I didn’t speak to my then-boyfriend for nearly a week because he ate the last piece. It was that good. Her first contribution to my blog are these totally bitchin’ monkey cupcakes she made for a child’s birthday party:

Here is her recipe:

I wanted to use a banana cake recipe but the mom who wanted them, said all chocolate. This recipe made 48 cupcakes! Holy Bananas.

3 cups flour
1 1/2 t. baking soda
3 sticks of butter, supposed to be softened at room temp., I of course put them in the microwave for 10 seconds
1 1/2 cup sugar
8 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted.
1 1/2 cup brown sugar
6 eggs
1 1/2 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 t. vanilla extract (don’t be cheap, use the real shit)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line muffin tins with cupcake papers. Set aside.

In a small bowl, sift together the flour and baking soda. Set aside.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter until smooth. Add the sugars and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the chocolate, mixing until well incorporated. Add the dry ingredients in three parts, alternating with the buttermilk and vanilla (I of course did both all at once and my batter was super thick, but they baked to perfect tops!). Do NOT overbeat. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl to make sure the ingredients are well blended and the batter is smooth. Carefully spoon the batter into the cupcake liners, filling them about three-quarters full. Bake for 20–25 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted in the center of the cupcake comes out clean.

Cool the cupcakes in the tins for 15 minutes. Remove from the tins and cool completely on a wire rack before icing.

I made them Friday night and iced them Saturday morning with chocolate icing, large Nilla wafers, mini Nilla wafers, I cut small marshmallows in half for eyes and I used black and red gel for the nose and eyes. All the kids loved them, but they thought they were bought at the grocery store and didn’t believe they were homemade.

Here are the finished products. How cute are they?

If you’d like to contribute a recipe, either send me the recipe and I’ll make it to the best of my ability, or you can make it and then send me the recipe and photos to food@thefoodsex.com.