Vegan Rag Pie

I don’t think I need to go into the origins of the name, but just know that it is lovely alongside 40’s of malt liquor in your living room with your friends. It combines the two best friends of most premenstrual women: chocolate and peanut butter. It is also super easy and quick to make when you decide to have your friends over for malt liquor at the last minute.

You will need:
4 one-ounce baking chocolate squares, melted (if you are lucky enough to have vegan chocolate chips around, use about ½ cup and melt them)
½ cup creamy peanut butter
1 container silken tofu
2 TBS soy milk
1 premade crust (I used a shortbread-style, you can use whatever your lazy heart desires)

Blend the first 4 ingredients in a food processor. Keep the soy milk on hand, as I had to add slightly more to get the filling to a good “filling” consistency, but you may not. Pour into the premade pie crust and chuck that baby in the fridge for at least an hour.

Cut…

EAT EAT EAT

Sorry these pictures are on the terrible side, somebody (Rob) was too busy (malt liquor/Mario Kart) to take them for me.

And that’s not all…

For those of you who don’t know Rob or me in real life, we had a minor medical scare last week that involved Rob having to go to the emergency room. The diagnosis was good, but as anyone who has spent an evening in the ER knows, it’s stressful and depressing and all-around sucks. We came home and moped around for awhile, unable to sleep, when I decided that clearly what we needed was brownies. These were awesome. I found the recipe online and veganized it, and I have to say, I’d been thoroughly underwhelmed with vegan brownies before this version. They are thick and gooey and get stuck in your throat (a quality of a good brownie.) They also maintained their quality pretty well throughout the week. The recipe makes so many that I was forced to pawn some off on my cousin Celeste, who promptly asked, “Are these gonna be on The Food Sex??” Hope you liked em, C.

Post-Emergency Room Brownies

You will need:
2 cups flour
2 cups white sugar (I used slightly less than 2 cups because geez, that’s a lot of sugar)
¾ cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 cup soy milk
½ cup vegetable oil
½ cup unsweetened applesauce
2-3 squares baking chocolate, chopped into little bits

Mix all the dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt) in a big bowl and mix the wet (soy milk, vegetable oil and applesauce) in another. Add the wet to the dry and mix.

Pour roughly half the batter into a prepared 13×9 pan. Sprinkle half the chopped chocolate over. Is this necessary? No. Is it gluttonous? Yes. Does it make the brownies better? Definitely. Pour the rest of the batter over and top with the rest of the chocolate.

Bake at 350 for really only about 15 minutes for a gooey brownie. Remove from the oven and let sit for 10 minutes before cutting.

Here’s the pan:

and here are the brownies:

Unnngggh….

Well, that being said, Robbo and I are on vacation all next week on a road trip, where I will likely NOT be posting from the backwoods of Virginia. Have a good week!!

Julie Hasson’s Spicy Vegetarian Italian Sausages

Now, if you’ve ever read a vegan blog you’ve seen Julie’s recipe from Everyday Dish in action. You may have made it, you may have been intimidated by it, but I promise you, it is easy and delicious and you will love it. This recipe is supposed to make 8 sausages, but somehow I always end up with 9. I’m not complaining.

You will need:
2 & 1/4 cups vital wheat gluten
1/2 cup nutritional yeast flakes
1/4 cup chickpea flour
2 tbsp Bills Best Chik’Nish Seasoning (if using another brand which is salty, or saltier than Bill’s Best, you’ll want to greatly reduce the amount you use) (note: I don’t even know what this is, but did a Google search for “chicken-style seasoning mixes” and found some good stuff)
2 tbsp granulated onion
1 to 2 tbsp fennel seed, optional
2 tsp coarsely ground pepper, preferably freshly ground
2 tsp ground paprika
1 tsp dried chili flakes, optional
1 tsp ground smoked paprika
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp ground allspice
2 & 1/4 cups cool water
6 to 8 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp soy sauce

1. In a large bowl, mix together all of the dry ingredients. Whisk together the water, garlic, olive oil and soy sauce and using a fork, gently stir into the dry ingredients. Stir just until ingredients are mixed. If dough mixture is too dry, you can add another tablespoon of water or as needed.
2. Scoop 1/2 cup dough mixture at a time and shape into logs. Place logs on piece of aluminum foil and roll up, twisting ends. Place sausages in steamer and steam for 30 minutes. Once sausages have cooled, remove from foil and refrigerate until ready to eat. After cooling, the sausages may feel a bit dry on the outside. Don’t worry, as they will soften and firm up considerably after chilling.

Or! You could go here and watch Julie make it herself.

This is what the dry ingredients look like:

This is what your dough will look like:

See how the one in the back isn’t tightly twisted?

Yeah, this is what happens:

This is my bamboo steamer on my ancient stove. There is the lid, carelessly tossed onto another burner:

Why am I showing you all this? I’m not sure. Here are the sausages:

They are good. They are so, so good. Stick them in the fridge for a bit to congeal, and toss them on the hot grill for a few minutes on each side. They are equally good with sautéed onions and peppers in tomato sauce as they are with spicy mustard. A few days later, I sliced one up and sautéed it with squash and zucchini and made a sandwich. These will not let you down.

And because no BBQ is complete without it, I made:

Vegan Potato Salad

You will need:
3 pounds little red potatoes, halved if they are big
1/2 red onion, diced
3-4 stalks celery, chopped
1/2 block of extra firm tofu, diced (in place of hard boiled eggs)
1/2 cup sweet pickle relish
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
2/3 cup Vegenaise. You could also use Nayonaise, but Vegenaise is what they carry at our Whole Foods.
2 TBS Dijon mustard

Boil the potatoes until soft but still holding their shape, about 15-20-ish minutes? I immediately drained them and stuck the whole strainer in the fridge so the potatoes would cool and firm up a little. You can do this the night before, which is always nice. When you are ready to make the salad, just take the potatoes out and cut them into little chunks. Mix the potatoes, onion, celery, tofu, relish, salt and pepper in a big bowl. Evenly distribute the relish. In a smaller bowl, mix together the ‘naise and mustard and pour that over the top. Toss everything well (but gently!) to coat evenly. Cover this and put it in the fridge for as long as possible. The more time everything has to sit together, the better it will be.

See? Independence rules.

Except when you get attacked by snakes aaaaah!

Oh whew, they are just garlic scapes. You were scared. I am so lame. Anyway, my friend Carrie got a bunch of these in her CSA that week and gave me a few. Here they are, to scale. Remember that my hands are giant (and my kitchen floor is filthy.)

Anyway, I love garlic, so these guys, which are essentially the shoots that grow out of the ground from the garlic bulb, are like my idea of heaven…if only I could figure out what to do with them. A quick google search found this delicious dip, which I think is originally from the NY Times:

White Bean and Garlic Scape Dip

You will need:
1/3 cup sliced garlic scapes (3 to 4)
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice, more to taste
1/2 teaspoon coarse sea salt, more to taste
Ground black pepper to taste
1 can (15 ounces) cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, more for drizzling.

In a food processor, process garlic scapes with lemon juice, salt and pepper until finely chopped. Add cannellini beans and process to a rough purée.

With motor running, slowly drizzle olive oil through feed tube and process until fairly smooth. Pulse in 2 or 3 tablespoons water, or more, until mixture is the consistency of a dip. Add more salt, pepper and/or lemon juice, if desired.

Spread out dip on a plate, drizzle with olive oil, and sprinkle with more salt.

It turned out this really pretty light green color. The dip was very garlicky but because the scapes don’t have that hot bite that raw garlic cloves do, it’s really pleasant.

I served it with homemade pita chips (Cut a whole wheat pita into triangles like you’re cutting a pizza, put them on a baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle liberally with salt and bake at 350 for, I dunno, 10 minutes? Keep an eye on them, they burn fast.)

Bitchin! I also made tofu-and-pepper kebabs with a vegan basil aioli sauce for dippin’, but I didn’t take any pictures because I was hungry. Definitely not because I’d been drinking all day. I’ll make them again soon and blog them.
In conclusion, Independence Day is awesome, and I will probably continue to live in America. Thanks for not wanting to pay your taxes, early Americans. Sorry about your luck, Native Americans. Smallpox sucks. Anyway.

Lemonberry Muffins

You will need:
1 cup whole grain spelt flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 cup soy milk
1/2 cup brown rice syrup
1/4 cup canola oil
1/2 tsp lemon extract (I actually added a bit more)
3/4 cup raspberries (fresh or frozen)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the soymilk, rice syrup, oil and lemon extract.
2. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients. Mix well.
3. Gently fold in raspberries. Fill the cups of a 12-cup muffin tin 2/3rds full
4. Bake 20-25 minutes.

The whole point of these muffins is that they have no added sugar. Except, I found them to be slightly not-sweet-enough for me, and I don’t have that much of a sweet tooth, so I think most people would want them to be a bit sweeter. So thus, I took those no-sugar-added muffins, and topped them with sugar.

So sue me! A little sugar won’t hurt you. Unless you’re diabetic, I guess, in which case I’d say you should probably skip the dipping-in-sugar step.

And that concludes this edition of Muffin Thursdays…I’m going back to watching daytime TV. Fabulous.

Tofu and White Bean Tortilla Bowls

You will need:
1 lb firm or extra firm tofu, diced into bite-size pieces
1 can white beans (I think I used navy beans in this because they are my favorite, but cannellini or great northern would be fine also), drained and rinsed
1 clove of garlic, minced
Spinach
Salsa of yer likin’
Tortillas (fajita-size, I believe)
Cumin
Chili powder
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
Cilantro

My goal for this recipe was to make an edible tortilla bowl, like the ones they sell at Mexican chains like Qdoba (as my friend Nikki says, “It’s a bowl. That you can EAT!”) for salads and the like, but without frying it.

What I did was spray the inside of two deep cereal bowls with cooking spray, and jammed the tortilla down in there to fit the shape of the bowl. After drizzling the tortilla with olive oil and seasoning it with salt and pepper, I stuck something heavy (that, for the life of me, I can’t remember now—a rock? My cat? I’m not sure. Oh, stop writing the nasty email right this second, I was joking.) wrapped in aluminum foil in the bottom to hold it down, and baked it in a 350 degree oven for 10-15 minutes. The result? Ehh. It looked nice, but wasn’t much to write home about. I guess sometimes frying things is really the only way to do them.
So anyway, in a bowl, toss the tofu with the beans, a glug of olive oil, and a healthy sprinkling of cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper.

In a hot skillet, add another glug of olive oil and cook your garlic for just a minute. Dump in the tofu and bean mixture and heat, stirring occasionally, until the tofu is cooked to your liking. Throw in a handful of spinach (a prize to the first person to comment with the number of times I have used the phrase “handful of spinach” on this blog—seriously) and stir until it wilts. Take it off the heat and divide between your tortilla bowls.
Top each with a spoonful of salsa. Rob and I went through a phase over the winter where we were obsessed with Frontera brand tomatillo salsa:

So I used that and then sprinkled the top with a little more chili powder for color and topped it with cilantro. It was pretty good, but I guess the point is that you could use any kind of spices or salsa that you wanted. Next up= learning to fry a damn tortilla bowl. We’ll work on it.

Aaaaand the close-up:

Vegan Banana Chocolate Muffins

This is adapted from a recipe on the internet, who adapted it from The Joy of Vegan Baking by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

You will need:
2 cups flour (I used whole wheat spelt flour, but you could probably use anything you wanted)
1 and 1/2 tsps baking soda
1 cup white sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup oil
4 mashed bananas: the riper, the better
1/4 cup water
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (Here’s the thing. I used to buy the grocery store brand of semi-sweet chocolate chips because they were vegan. This time, I picked up the package and checked, and they had BUTTERFAT in them. Ack! They un-veganized them! The store’s meager supply contains no other vegan chocolate chips, so lately I’ve been using this Baker’s chocolate, which is vegan, and just cutting it into chunks. Ghetto.)

Okay, so set your oven to 350 and put paper things in your muffin tin. You could grease each individual cup, but why would you do that when you can just use papers? See? Genius.
In a medium bowl, combine the flour, salt and baking soda.

In a large bowl, beat the sugar and the oil together until evenly mixed. Add the mashed banana (I mashed mine with a potato masher but left some chunks of banana-y goodness and chocolate chips/chunks. Stir in the water and vanilla. Add the dry mixture a little at a time and stir until just mixed.

Fill your muffin cups evenly and bake for about 30 minutes. This recipe made about 15 muffins.

Muffins in the morning sun. I only wish that I was eating it with my feet up and a cup of coffee instead of on the way to the bus stop to go to work.

Unnggggh. So good. These muffins were literally gone in 15 minutes at my office. Of course, as anyone who works in an office knows, these people will eat anything!

2) Making tofu scramble. What the hell? I’m usually pretty adept with tofu, but I am a failure at breakfast-tofu.

This is one I made by heating some olive oil in a pan, then crumbling tofu in and cooking it for a few minutes, adding some garlic powder and granulated onion (because I’m stinky, okay??) and then tossing in some vegetables (broccoli, mushrooms, sundried tomatoes) and cooking a bit longer, finally topping with sliced green onions. It really looks pretty, but it just wasn’t all I dreamed it would be. Help me, internet–what am I doing wrong?

Anyway, as is typical of Italian families, whenever any long-lost cousin gets married or dies, we’re all expected to be there. This can be a royal pain in the ass when you are mourning the death of the father of the husband of a cousin you’ve never met, but it can totally rule when the wedding dinner includes wedding soup—or at least, it ruled in my meat-eating days. Wedding soup is, in my opinion, the ultimate soup. It’s like the entire food pyramid in your bowl! And veg-izing it wasn’t even too difficult, given the meat-alternatives on the market today. I know they aren’t the healthiest thing ever, but your life will [probably] go on.

Vegan Wedding Soup

You will need (for 3-4 servings):

Base:
½ yellow onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, diced (this is a LOT. Use 1 or 2 if you’re not down with stinking for days)
2 stalks celery, chopped
Olive oil
Dried oregano
2-3 cups vegetable stock. In soups, I usually use a combination of stock and water with a vegetable bouillon cube…or if you are a better human being than me, make your own broth. I am not that great.
1/8 – ¼ cup uncooked small pasta such as acini pepe (Italian for “peppercorns”) or pastina (Italian for “tiny dough”.) I actually used a bigger star-shaped pasta, because I’m emo or something
Bunch of greens, chopped. Any kind will do. Escarole is traditional, I used spinach because I had it around.
Fresh parsley, chopped

‘Meat’balls:
¼ tube of Gimme Lean, either sausage or beef-style
Dried Italian seasoning

‘Chicken’
½ pound seitan, store bought or homemade
olive oil
lemon juice
Dried Italian seasoning
Garlic powder
Salt and pepper

Okay so, I know that seems like a lot of ingredients, but it’s really not. I actually started this soup the night before so prep on the day of would go quickly. Start with the ‘meat’balls. Take the Gimme Lean (you can find this at Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and supermarkets that are not crappy, in the refrigerated section.) Add seasoning as you see fit, and roll into tiny balls. Heat a bit of olive oil in a skillet and cook the meatballs until just browned on the outside. When they were done, I let them cool in the pan and then put them in a plastic container in the fridge.
Next, the ‘chicken.’ Cut the seitan into chicken-like, bite-size pieces. You know what I mean, think chicken noodle soup. Throw it in a Ziploc bag with a glug of olive oil, a squeeze of lemon juice and the herbs/spices. I have no measurements for any of this and I don’t think it really matters too much. Add some chopped fresh parsley if you’re feeling saucy. Toss the seitan to coat and stash it in the fridge. The next day when I went to make the soup, I just dumped the whole mess into a pan and stirred it around until the seitan was a little crispy and browned.

So, that’s all the pre-soup work. Now, to make the soup itself. Heat some olive oil in a pot and add the onion and celery. I’m pretty sure celery isn’t traditional in this soup, but I like celery in all soups, so you can omit it if you want. Cook until onions are translucent, about 5-7 minutes. Add the garlic and a good amount of dried oregano and cook, stirring often, another minute or so. Add the stock/broth/water/bouillon/whatever you’re using, and bring to a boil. Pour in the pasta and cook about 5 minutes. Add the meatballs and browned seitan. Stir it all around and taste-test until your pasta is cooked to your liking. Add the greens and stir until they wilt. Add the chopped parsley and you’re done!

A word to the wise- eat this soup the night you make it. While many soups are great, sometimes even better, when they’ve had a day to hang out and are reheated, the meatballs get SICK NASTY in the broth overnight. So either eat it all that night, or pull the meatballs out before you refrigerate it.

Why, you ask?

Because this is the week that farmer’s markets return to Pittsburgh, and Tuesday is my neighborhood’s.

I need to start working on a farmer’s market carol that I can sing as I walk there.

Up this week: Vegan Wedding Soup, Laura’s Not-So-Vegan-and-Not-So-Healthy Cheesecake. Ooooh yeah!

The self-proclaimed King of the Grill. Also, Pittsburgh isn’t cloudy, it’s just a little sooty.

So, this meal happened on a Saturday afternoon, after we’d visited the previously mentioned Strip District and I bought all kinds of produce and fresh tofu. In retrospect, it was incredibly silly of me to use freshly made tofu for kebabs, as it was entirely too soft. Live and learn, and use the firmest tofu you’ve got.

You will need:
About 1/2 block tofu
One red pepper
One orange or yellow pepper
A good amount (how’s that for precision?) of pineapple

Marinade:
2 TBS Soy sauce
1 TBS Olive oil
1.5 tsp brown sugar
1 clove garlic, minced
Pinch dried ginger
Chopped Thai basil (optional–I’m addicted, okay??)

Normally I don’t have much of a sweet tooth. However, a strange thing has happened–after Easter, when our good friend Liz gave us 34 pounds of candy, so much so that I had to ask Rob to hide it from me and dole it out in reasonable portions, I’ve begun to develop sugar cravings. So when I wanted to make these kebabs, I decided to use sweet fruits and vegetables (the pineapple and peppers) and make a sweet marinade as well.

Okay, so begin by mixing the marinade in a bowl. Then chop everything into nice bite-size pieces. Dump them all in a Ziploc bag with the marinade, toss well to coat and refrigerate for at least an hour, turning the bag over if you think about it.

If you are using wooden BBQ skewers, soak them in water for about 30 minutes before you grill them so they don’t go up in flames.

When the tofu mixture is done marinading, skewer them up and dump the remaining marinade on them while the grill heats up:

See how the tofu is getting kinda crumbly? That’s what happens when you don’t use extra firm. Foolio!

Now throw ‘em on the grill. Yeah!

Close the lid and let them hang out for a bit. If you don’t have a grill, you could easily do this on a pan inside. Let them cook about 4-5 minutes and carefully flip them over using tongs. Cook another 4-5 minutes and take them off. You’ll be able to tell when they’re cooked to your liking.

While they were grilling, I wanted to make some kind of side dish. To go along with the Asian influence, I decided on these udon noodles.

See, they’re from Japan; they’re authentic–

Eh, nevermind.

Anyway, I cooked the noodles according to the package directions, tossed them with a little soy sauce and sprinkled them with sesame seeds. Then I put some on a plate with the kebabs and threw some more Thai basil over the whole thing.

I’m so glad it’s spring!

Smoked tofu, by the way, totally rules. The package was on the floor next to the fridge as I put groceries away, when I was suddenly distracted by my ringing phone (or maybe it was a shiny object, I can’t seem to remember). When I came back I found Marley licking the package. I swatted him away, rinsed the kitty saliva from the plastic and stuck it in the fridge. I came downstairs about an hour later to find him licking the spot on the tile where the tofu had been. Of course, as you can tell, there is not very much that Marley won’t eat:

He’s not a kitty who misses many meals.

So anyway, it was Sunday afternoon, I had this basil, tofu, and a hungry manfriend—and thus, it was sandwich time.

You will need:
olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced (there are very few recipes on here that don’t include garlic. If you don’t like garlic, you can just go away.)
Half a package of smoked tofu, cut into strips the size of your index finger
1 large whole wheat pita, halved
Spinach, chopped
Red cabbage, chopped
Thai basil leaves, whole
Sesame seeds (optional)
Peanut Sauce (recipe below)

To make the Peanut Sauce, you will need:
2 TBS peanut butter
1 TBS soy sauce
1 tsp brown sugar
Squeeze of lime juice to taste
water to thin to desired consistency

Start by heating the oil in a skillet. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute, taking care not to burn. We really just want to warm the tofu and add a little garlic flava, so this part will be quick. Drop the tofu in the pan and cook a minute or two on each side, just to heat through. Remove from heat.

To assemble, carefully open the pocket of your pita and stuff half the tofu inside. Please also ignore my grody bass playin’ fingers with short nails and no use for polish:

Smear with half the peanut sauce:

Sprinkle with sesame seeds if you’re into that:

Add some spinach and cabbage for crunchiness:

Poke some basil leaves in there:

NOM NOM NOM!

P.S.
While I’ve already apologized for abandoning this blog during the semester, it was apparently worth it. I got a 4.0!